F.E.A.R. has two meanings, two paths. We have one mind, one heart. You know which way to go. All you have to do is listen to your heart to know what to do, and THEN go to your mind to figure out how to do it. “F.E.A.R. has two meanings: Forget Everything And Run or…
Terra: I’ll bring fruit. Me: Great, my kids love fruit – they’ll go bananas! Yes, I am a woman who tells horrible Mom jokes. I’m also a woman who, at forty-two, is finally learning and living what it means to feel to heal. The above text exchange with my friend, Terra came from me asking…
Our plan for the night was going to be one for the books. My sister and I were gearing up to see one of our favorite singers at Ardmore Music Hall. (Ah, live concerts. Those were the days.) We were going to tear up the night as only two semi-middle-aged women could. Get buzzed up…
Good news, if you’re reading this, you’re not dead. Congratulations. 🥳 You’re breathing and alive. But are you living? Instead of being afraid of death, let’s shift our focus to living; being alive. Listen, we’re all afraid of death. And uncertainty. And especially, the uncertainty of death. Thing is, the uncertainty of death isn’t new. COVID…
It’s easy to fly through our days in a mental fog. There’s so much going on in our immediate environment, COVID, or not. Throw in a global pandemic, and it’s even easier to be camped out in our heads roasting imaginary S’ mores by the mental fire without even realizing it. I find that having…
Bite back. Those two words alone are enough to kick me into gear anytime Ego rears its head to stop me from doing anything risky, which is every time. Anything that has me show myself naturally causes Ego to wobble and shake. Ego doesn’t like that threat, not one bit. But, that’s why they’re called…
I recently attended a weekend-long seminar and each day was ten hours and filled to the brim with information, exercises, and an incredible amount of will power to shut up my ranting ego of “Been there done that.” The irony is that I spent a good part of the first day doing exactly what we…
For my birthday this past November, I was gifted one of the best experiences of my life by my parents – other than the gift of life by my parents. I took part in Committed Impulse, a weekend-long intensive performance workshop in NYC that had the overall goal of helping actors, entrepreneurs, and public speakers,…
Trivia time! How much of our brain activity (decisions, emotions, actions, and behaviors) is conscious? I’m on a mission of taking back control of my mind. Whether it’s Mel Robbins asking the question of: Do you own your phone or does your phone own you? or Deepak Chopra reminding me that We are the thinker…
You know how when you have a fantastic idea and get all jazzed up about it, at some point, you inevitably run headfirst into a rock hard wall? Well, there are two kinds of people facing this wall. One keeps their eye on the prize and figures out how to Andy Dufresne their way out…
“How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard, author Wow. It’s been one heck of a week. We can get so swept up in the vicious news cycle or the emotional chaos that the holidays often bring that we often forget to pay attention to all the…
3 minute read Did you ever notice how the cooler you play it the more stifled you get? The amount of energy that you put into acting like you have it all together, so you don’t show that you’re unsure or unable fills your brain with such a mega capacity of fear that it’s surprising…
This is the last post from a three-part series on decision making. If you missed the past two you can find them here: Gold Digging Your Way to Better Decision Making and How Vanilla Ice Helps Me Make Better Decisions. This is a special post as it’s in response to a reader’s comment of: I…
7 minute read What if you just met the love of your life on a cruise ship that happens to be heading straight for an iceberg? What if you wreaked havoc on the police department, turning your town upside down, because they’ve done a shit job handling the murder case of your only daughter? What…
5 minute read Let’s clear something up right out of the gate: Being decisive does not equal being difficult. For some reason, we have created a culture that usually pegs women who make decisions with confidence as being difficult; not playing for the team. We are selfish. We’re not considering everyone’s feelings. God knows that…
7 minutes For a while there anytime I would go to do anything that scared me in the slightest, my ego would fly into red alert. We’re not talking walking alone down a dark alley at night. No, no, no. Anything, where I’d be putting myself out there to be judged and criticized, would…
7 minute read One day I’m the poster girl for maternal figures nationwide, channeling my inner Tami Taylor all “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose”, hip swings and all. Not even twenty-four hours later I’m giving Rhea Perlman a run for her Emmy as Carla Tortelli takes over my system with feisty mega eye rolls…
5 minute read I have a morning ritual that keeps me in check. Once the kids are fed, and the coffee is poured, I sit down with the newspaper and flip directly to the obituaries. I skip right past the fear-inducing manipulation of the “if it bleeds, it leads” stories that infest our newsfeeds and…
5 minute read How many times have you found yourself chasing after what you thought you wanted only to come to find out that what you wanted was right in front of you the whole time? Don’t blame yourself; I do it too. We can’t help but be lured in by the shinier and flashier…
5 minute read I bought tarot cards. I know, I know. I may have lost you. But before you throw a sweeping judgment my way, hear me out. I’ve been consistently looking for fun ways to increase my self-awareness and intuition because in the age of information overload those two hot commodities are entirely under…
7 minute read Did you know that as of 2016, over 660 MILLION vacation days were left unused by American employees? Your vacay days were floating around on an imaginary raft sipping your ice cold adult bev somewhere in the ether. Breaking this down even further, this equates to over $600 per employee being…
7 minute read Don’t be fooled. We’re all scared of boundaries. All of us. Because, in a nutshell, boundaries are associated with two aspects of the human condition that none of us like to face: disappointing others and not being liked. We’re told on a regular basis in an array of colorful language how imperative…
7 minute read Marie Kondo made me do it. I had just watched an episode of the hilarious Momsplaining with Kristen Bell that had Marie Kondo, the author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, as the main guest. Days later I made a routine visit to the library with my kids, and that book…
5 minute read “Even Jell-O needs a mold.” Fortunately, I was given this simple insight late in my twenties so that I could absorb and appreciate it. It made sense and helped me get out of my way creatively and personally. This is also what quieted my inner rebel, allowing me to move towards a…
5 minute read When I was a kid, I called my dad “The Man Who Never Smiled.” As you can imagine, this nickname thrilled him. I wish I could say it was one of those moments in childhood when fading memories and blurred dreams merge into one, and you’re not sure what’s real. But I…
I had the pleasure of being a part of a career day for a local school district in my area. I also had the honor of giving the closing remarks for the day. Inspired by Simon Sinek’s TED talk and philsophy on “Find Your Why”, I hope that my thoughts may inspire people of all…
3 minute read It?s anger. It?s sadness. It?s confusion and frustration. When our thoughts and beliefs are questioned or receive any push back, we tighten up, rev up, gear up for the fight. We become uptight and ready to pounce. We will prove them wrong once and for all. We will plow through everything to…
This piece is a guest post I wrote prior for my dear friends at The Perpetual Visitor. The request was to write: how to find time for your own creative pursuits once you become a mother. Please share this with any moms you know who could benefit from it in any way. We’re all in…
7 minute read “You marry your unfinished business,” she said with a nonchalant shrug. She delivered this news with such a matter-of-fact-ness that the only natural response was to jump up and call her out on her bullshit. But since this was probably not the best way to kick-off our third couples therapy session,…
5 minute read You’ve heard it a million times: follow your heart. It’s so cliché that you may dismiss it as a touchy-feely idealistic way of living your life. It sounds innocent and childish. It doesn’t seem smart because it’s not. Everything considered smart is contained, practical, and organized. It all comes from the left…
5 minute read We all remember the wedding scene in Old School, right? Noooow you’re smiling. Fantastic! The wedding singer brings such a hilarious intensity to an otherwise overplayed and overly dramatic ballad of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” He nails urgency and light-heartedness like a champ. The Dan Band takes it for the win.…
3 minute read Right about now… the funk soul brother? No. Right about now is the time of year when if you’re like a lot of people, your commitment to the resolution you made just weeks ago, is starting to wane. Maybe it’s because you set yourself up for failure. Or maybe it’s because…
5 minute read Keep it together. The minute that you say this to yourself you know you’re a millisecond away from completely losing your shit. You need to fly down into the basement and do some shadow boxing or throw your head into the nearest pillow to scream like an animal. I did neither. I…
‘7 minute read Ah, La La Land. Its timeless theme is filling our dry well of dreams. Sound depressing? Well, La La Land shows us that it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s the great wake-up call to all of us to reignite the heartwarming and juicy dreams that we are allowing to wither…
he h3 minute read I had this ridiculous fear that blocked me from any internal growth for years. I convinced myself that the more I moved forward and did the work, that some significant force was going to say, “You’re so enlightened, huh? Let’s see how evolved you are,” and with that, she hands me…
2 minute read Yesterday my car may have miraculously taken the long way home so that I could rock out to Sister Christian on repeat before returning to reality. My Friday nights may consist of hour-long marathons of iTunes movie trailers, and I may have no idea how to use Snapchat. Â What’s for sure?…
1 minute read ?Who even thinks that?? my mom asked with complete and utter confusion. ?I don?t think that conversation ever needs to be had. Ever.? ?Mom, hear me out,? I said shooting up a little straighter. ?The reindeer are total assholes to Rudolph the whole time. The only time they even like him…
2 minute read On days when I?m rolling deep at a level 1 vibration, my thoughts flood my brain like bats in the belfry. I’m revved up and feel like a raving mad Cruella De Vil. It’s an incredibly hot look, let me tell you. Sometimes this feeling catches me off guard, and other times…
2 minute read There?s a scene in As Good As It Gets where Melvin Udall, Jack Nicholson?s character, is sitting across a restaurant table from Carol Connelly, Helen Hunt?s character, and he says ?You make me want to be a better man.?It stops her in her tracks and makes me cry every time. The…
1 minute read What would happen if you started each day taking a moment to sit in bed and breathe? Just a few seconds. How different would your day be? How would your first interaction be with your partner? Your kids? Your pets? Your friends? The barista? The guy at the light next to you?…
1 minute read There’s a little movie called, “Cyrus” that came out in 2010 and went under the radar. There’s one scene in it that always reminds me to go for it even if everybody else isn’t doing it. (Let us not forget that 99% of the time, the masses are asses.) John C. Reilly’s…
2 minute read I recently gave a talk to a room that was 80% full of male financial advisers. I chose to focus my talk on how the way we “show up” is our choice and why as high achieving leaders it is our duty, not a luxury, to be real and vulnerable. This is…
2 minute read Do you ever get gripped with fear that you won’t have your talk memorized in time? Or maybe that you will have rehearsed it so much that you come out sounding more robotic than human? Here is a no-fail way to curb that anxiety. Again, it’s a three-step process to keep you…
2 minute read I have a go-to process that I use whenever I am preparing for a talk of any size. I break it down into three steps: A.C.T. I don’t believe in a one size fits all for public speaking preparation. Take from it what speaks to you and leave what doesn’t. The acronym…
2 minute read What’s the best way to soften the fear of public speaking? We all care about something, right? I know, I know, you’re not supposed to answer a question with a question. Rule breakers, rejoice. Here we go. I’m not talking about caring what we ate for breakfast or what car we drive…
I have been feeling a belly dropping roller coaster of emotions lately. I divulged this to enough people and was comforted when the collective response was a relieved, “Me too!”. This includes the blessing of a man at the deli counter who I shared a piece of turkey with while we waited in line. After…
2 minute read I’m preparing a communication talk for financial advisors. As excited as I am for this experience, the inevitable self-doubt surfaces. I can go on about the importance of preparation – and how that significantly decreases the anxiety induced nausea. But you know what? We know that. We know how important it is…
You know how in movies there is more than one take per scene? It’s the rare actor (yes, even Meryl and Daniel have their days) who can nail it the first time through. They may rehearse and practice and for some reason they trip up. Their tongues gets tied. They freeze. They go blank. Then…
The buzz of the first day of school always kicks my love of learning up a notch. In my book, it’s way more of an ass-kicker than January 1st. There’s more straight, and action-oriented goals than obligatory pipe promises that the annual hopped up countdown creates. This year, though, I felt different. I wasn’t jonesing…
Crazy is what inspires. Crazy is who takes the chance and doesn’t listen to the naysayers. Crazy is who listens to their gut and has faith in the unknown. Crazy is what stokes the focus fire in our bellies and strengthens our commitment to why we do what we do. Crazy is who stays humble and does the work instead of needing to show their hustle.
3 minute read Self-regulators, mount up! Not sure if you’ve noticed, but there’s been a crazy amount of heightened emotions flooding our mental space over the past few weeks. Some may say that it’s been going on for the past year and others will argue that it’s been going on since the beginning of time.…
It’s absolutely necessary for us all to take resposibility to become our best so that we can shift the collective consciousness on its head and in the right direction once and for all.
3 minute read Remember that scene in Back to the Future where Marty McFly & his siblings start to disappear on the picture behind his guitar strings? His anxiety of time running out from helping his parents fall in love is palpable through the screen. To this day I feel chills and an instant well…
5 minute read One of my sisters from another mister just returned home from an incredible two-week long cross country road trip. This wasn’t her first road trip rodeo. She’s done this drive many times over. There were the magical stomping grounds along the way (Badlands, anyone?) and family filled Boulder bbq’s like no other. The…
2 minute read I have this little ritual of going down to my local corner store on Sunday mornings and buying the Sunday New York Times. (Pinkies up, baby!) If I’m lucky I finish it within a week. The depth of its content and the limit of my focus don’t agree. You ever pick up…
2 minute read Do you need a little help owning who you are? Don’t be shy. It’s go time. We can all smell inauthenticity like blood hounds, right? It can feel frustrating, manipulative and offensive. We all fly into Mr. T mode of “pitying the fool” for making us look like one. Do you really…
3 minute read I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. There is something that you can start doing today to help significantly kick up your inspiration, curiosity, creativity, and empathy in one fell swoop… for freeeee. (I know, right??) Ready? Listen in. No, that’s it. Listen in. Observe. Be curious. Eavesdrop. I’m not…
{3 minute read} I’m a huge believer in the phrase: energy flows where attention goes. Since we’ve been focusing on boosting our listening skills the last few weeks, it’s no surprise that my antennae have been picking up listening signals and signs at lightning speed. That being said, it was no shock when this splash…
{3 minute read} This is the time of year when the mental distraction of cannonballing into a lake can cause the best of us to lose focus and want to call it quits. The home projects that once juiced us up, the mile-long line of clients that we once prayed for, and our never-ending to-do list…
{3 minute read} I have a question for you: When you think of the word “doubt” what are some of the first words that come to mind? (think about it for a minute ) If you’re like me it falls somewhere between uncertainty, fear and Phillip Seymour Hoffman (who was incredible in the movie, Doubt).…
{2 minute read} I have a challenge for you. (You just sat up a little straighter, didn’t you? I like your spirit.) I won’t keep you in suspense. Here it is: I want you to pay attention to how many times you doubt yourself today. Just for one day. Now, when it happens I want…
{3 minute read} I love myself a good summer party as much as the next girl. The pool parties, lively music, and ice cold adult bevs hook me every time. But if I’m really honest, one of my favorite parts of summer is the solitude. The early morning rise, coffee on the deck, the walks…
{3 minute read} I’m always drawn to people who are good listeners. Aren’t we all? Don’t we all want to be heard and seen? Heck yeah, we do! These people, the living and walking Yodas of the world, are focused and present. They don’t clog the spotlight and look like needy children vying for Mommy…
{2 minute read} I don’t know about you but I am feeling some hardcore “senioritis” coming on – BIG time! Once the air is filled with the tinkering of the ice cream truck and drafts of barbecue smoke, all I want to do is throw in the responsibility towel and play hooky. All. Day. Long.…
{2 minute read} I consider myself a hard-worker who is pretty organized. I love myself a good strike-through list and have been given props for my thorough follow-up ability. (That’s right.) At the same time, I am someone who can easily channel a car chasing puppy in mere seconds and really has to work at…
{3 minute read} My 3 1/2-year-old has excitedly said “Mommy! It’s you!”, to these two fictitious fiery lady gems: That’s right. Maleficent, the main villain in Sleeping Beauty aka “Mistress of All Evil” and J.C. Wiatt aka Diane Keaton in Baby Boom. Now, I have a choice to look at this one of two ways. I…
{4 minute read} In the past month I have cried at every single animated film I’ve watched. Every. Single. One. Storks – water works. Zootopia – flood gates. Brother Bear – forget it. Does this make me a pansy ass? Maybe. But (pointer finger raise), do I have a case? Definitely! Allow me! The hook…
{2 minute read} We all have issues with resolutions. Let’s be honest. All of these incredible sweeping promises of how we are going to better ourselves just ends up making us feel worse about ourselves. So, right out of the gate we’re setting ourselves up for failure. Job well done. I say, let’s forego resolutions…
{3 minute read} We hear it every year, whether we like it or not. No, I’m not talking about “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas”. I’m talking tips on how to slow down so that we don’t get caught up and stung by the tentacles of the holiday cray cray. Sometimes we learn from years gone by. Mostly,…