While You Were Sleeping

Trivia time!

How much of our brain activity (decisions, emotions, actions, and behaviors) is conscious?

I’m on a mission of taking back control of my mind. Whether it’s Mel Robbins asking the question of: Do you own your phone or does your phone own you? or Deepak Chopra reminding me that We are the thinker of our thoughts, not our thoughts.

We are the thinker of our thoughts, not our thoughts.

That’s a big deal.

That alone helps me gain more power over unpeeling the social conditioning that has warped my brain (and spoiler alert: yours too) and makes me feel in an odd way, a stronger sense of belonging. We’re all in this together. We’re all figuring it out as we go.

One of my main purposes for being in this world is to help people come together and feel good in a creative way. I can be intense. I can be goofy. I can be flighty. I’m not for everyone. 

But for those people who do feel a resonance from what I offer, we’re going for one hell of a ride.

I spent many decades convincing myself that I wasn’t worthy of happiness because I didn’t earn it. I didn’t survive a tragedy or a major challenge. So what did I do? I created them. I became a victim of circumstances and I put obstacles in my way. I self-sabotaged. I let other people shine and grew resentful for not shining too. I falsely equated shining with arrogance and selfishness with ambition. And I’m over it.

So what’s my motto for 2019?

No more dicking around.

It may sound brutal, and, Mom, sorry if you winced, but this is it. Feel free to use it as your own. If it scares me and I know in my gut that it’s going to help me grow – I’m goin’ for it.

I usually go into the new year with a motto that fizzles out before Valentine’s Day arrives. I’m all gung-ho and blazing saddles and then I psyche myself out. Fear fires up and I talk myself out of any major changes.

Sound familiar?

It’s really easy to get comfortable with settling and stopping ourselves from growing. It’s safe. It’s sound. It’s familiar.

Maybe you went for “it” and your own inner critic went bananas on you and you ducked your head and went back to the way things were. Or, maybe, just maybe, you began to change and felt really good about it and fell victim to people in your life projecting their own fears on you about you changing and so you ducked your head and went back to the way things were.

But the thing is, you can never go back to the way things were. You can try to convince yourself otherwise but then now you’re being a liar who’s not going for it and no one wants anymore of that energy in the world.

On top of it all, since we’re not groupies of change, the minute we feel discomfort of any sort we are easily swayed to back off and stop being so difficult, or dramatic, or sensitive.

What I’ve come to realize is that disappointing myself is way worse than disappointing anyone else.

No more listening to fear.  Fear of showing up and the fear of asking for help will continue to tap my shoulders, sure. But it’s not blocking my path.

We need more people in the world who are showing up; who are vowing to wake up. We all deserve happiness. We all deserve joy. We all deserve to feel a sense of belonging. It’s nothing we have to earn. It’s nothing we need to prove our worthiness for, no matter who tells us otherwise.

The blessing and curse of making a career that is within the personal development world is that I’m called out – constantly. My goal is not, and was never to be the poster woman for self-awareness and presence who greets you by clasping your hands, looking into your eyes longer than necessary while trailing sage smoke in my wake.

My goal is simple: to share what I’m learning with you so that it helps you out when you may need it most. So that you pop up more courageous to act on things that, even though scare you shitless, you actually do.

Everything I write to you is a bold-faced sharpied “note to self”. You help me hold myself accountable to not be a hypocrite and to continue to show up.

I’m excited to be working on bringing workshops and seminars on the big ol’ world wide web to reach you wherever you may live. I promise it to be intense, impactful, interactive, and inspire you to take intentional action.

We’ll do exercises that warm up our minds and bodies, we’ll do self-reflective writing prompts, we’ll have one big conversation about what it means to show up for real and how to overcome obstacles that get in your way so that you can course correct like the smooth operater that you are.

It’s time that I wake up. That we all wake up. You with me?

*The trivia answer is: 95%. Yes, 95% of our brain activity is subconcious so if you’ve passed 2nd grade you know that means that only 5% is conscious. That can change. It takes work and deliberate focus but it can be done. Join in on January 23rd to get crackin!

While You Were Sleeping (1995, Director John Turteltaub, Writers, Daniel G. Sullivan, Fredric Lebow) A hopeless romantic Chicago Transit Authority token collector is mistaken for the fiancée of a coma patient.

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