The Importance of Being a Perspective Detective

3 minute read

captain fantastic

It’s anger. It’s sadness. It’s confusion and frustration. When our thoughts and beliefs are questioned or receive any push back, we tighten up, rev up, gear up for the fight. We become uptight and ready to pounce. We will prove them wrong once and for all. We will plow through everything to declare that we are right no matter who we have to take down along the way. We do a Herculean white-knuckle grip to our beliefs as if that will give us the strength and fuel to win the case. The case that we have created out of a vain sense of existence.

God forbid we gain perspective. Hell no we won’t see the other side.
After all, what if we are wrong?
Shit. What if they have a point?

What will it take for us to understand that we can have faith in our beliefs and values and yet, still gain perspective? Still, see the world through someone else’s eyes.

Perspective and beliefs do not need to pit against each other unable to share the love. Because that’s what it all comes down too, right? Love. Simple and true. It’s all love. What we do is all for love. Feeling we aren’t getting enough of it or that we will lose what we are receiving; that we will be seen for who we are and not for who we want to be. Yikes.

Which brings us to our old friend, fear. We are addicted to fear. We love it. It’s an out. It’s a hall pass. It’s a way to half-ass it. It’s fear’s fault. We hand over our rights and our privileges to fear for no other reason than we are afraid that we will be loved less if we aren’t scared. If we go for it; if we take the chance; if we show our true selves; if we expose our vulnerabilities; if we see their side. We can “if” ourselves to death – which is fine because at least we’ll still be loved. But at what cost?

Repeat after me:
Understanding another’s point of view is not agreeing with them.

Somewhere along the way we have convinced ourselves that if we listen to someone with a differing point of view that it means we agree with them; if we let them speak, we are in cahoots with them. Just think how ridiculous that is. Our only choice now is to gain perspective. We are at a tipping point.

Start small. Start locally. Just start.
See where you can shift your mindset. Look for opportunities. Work on seeing where people are coming from and how and why they look at the world that way. Ask them their story. We all have stories to tell that we’re yearning to share. Vow to be curious. This will unlock the door to a little thing we called the shared human condition.

The act of becoming a perspective detective can create bonds you never knew were possible. It can mend riffs that have been going on for decades. It has the potential to allow you to see the world in a bolder and crystal clear way becoming more attuned than ever before. It takes practice, dedication, forgiveness and often time heartbreaks that will mend. They will.

The movie Captain Fantastic embraces this theme beautifully. Starring Viggo Mortensen, it is a movie about family, loss, humility, and freedom. But above all else, it’s about love. Pure and raw love. It embraces the idea that it takes the courage of a warrior to be the parent and person you need to be and not the one you want to be.

Captain Fantastic could very well save the world.
If I could magically deliver a copy to every household, I would.
It is that vital. In fact, it’s the ultimate superhero.

See for yourself.


Captain Fantastic (2016, Director and Writer: Matt RossIn the forests of the Pacific Northwest, a father devoted to raising his six kids with a rigorous physical and intellectual education is forced to leave his paradise and enter the world, challenging his idea of what it means to be a parent.  

Rellian: If you assume that there is no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, that there are opportunities to change things, then there is a possibility that you can contribute to making a better world.

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